No Pennies Necessary

Don't Call Me Mommy!

2006-10-02T15:45:00.000-07:00

I don't want any children. Take a moment to gasp, frown, and run down the list of reasons why that's absurd. I'll wait... You good now? Okay, let's talk about it. I like children. No... Scratch that... I like some children. And most kids like me. That doesn't mean I want to be responsible for raising one. If one more person tells me I'm just being selfish I'm going to scream! Yes. I am being selfish. No. I don't intend to change. I would love to have a puppy but I don't. Why? Because I'm selfish. I enjoy coming and going as I please without having to consider the canine restroom cycle. I'd like to continue spending money when and how I please. Nobody cares if I deny myself a couple meals. But the moment I refuse to buy Puppy Chow the world will label me cruel and PETA will set up camp outside my apartment. At least I know that I am selfish. Most people get pets and children and make them suffer.

Am I supposed to believe that, "they're cute" and "I wanna pass on Daddy's last name" are acceptable reasons for having children? Shouldn't aspiring parents have a desire to shape and mold their babies into admirable human beings who are fair and caring to every person with whom they make contact? That's a full-time job. Life has taught me that one full-time job is difficult to maintain. For that reason, I wouldn't dare attempt to maintain two. Am I therefore expected to leave my career and raise my child instead? If not, shouldn't I be? A child's future shouldn't be left to hope. At least one parent ought to be responsible for guiding and educating their child(ren) through life. Please notice that I said one parent and not the mother. Fathers are capable of raising children also. That concept, although mentioned, will not be discussed in detail herein.

That said, I would prefer to live life without becoming a parent. People ask me (all too often) what I would do if I married a man who wanted children. My response... Check into the nearest mental institution. It would be quite stupid of me to marry a man without knowing or despite his positive position on having children. I believe the Biblical teaching that admonishes us to marry people with whom we are equally yoked extends beyond religious convictions. I plan to marry a man who shares my views on this matter. In the event that either of us changes our minds later, we discuss the possibilities when necessary.

This really is not a difficult topic or concept. The beauty of an opinion is that it requires neither reason nor rationale.

Please God... Forgive the Ambiguity

2006-09-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

Lord,

I realize this is all my fault. When I prayed to you for a husband, I neglected to share with you that I sought a man who might become my husband. Not a man who was currently someone else's husband. Oops. If it's okay with you, I'd like to withdraw my previous prayer and submit the following instead.

My Father who is in Heaven! Blessed is your name. Your kingdom come and your will be done here on Earth just as it is in Heaven. Lord, I love you. I admit that I could love you more. I obviously have a bad habit of placing my "needs" ahead of what you would have me to do. Please forgive me for that. And God, while you're forgiving me, please forgive me for all of the stupid things I've done up until now. Who am I kidding? I'm pretty positive that there are more stupid things to come. But I do promise to try my hardest to resist the urge to give in to temptation. It would be great if you would deliver me from temptation too. I'm praying for a specific reason. I know that comes as a shock to you since I seldom ask you for anything. :-) God, I'm lonely and I'd really like my soul mate now if it's all the same to you. I know he's out there somewhere. If you could just guide him towards me I'll do my part to keep him when he gets here. I want so badly to be a wife. We both know that there are stipulations all around that comment. I can't be a wife to any man who isn't your servant. Strike that... I don't want to be a wife to such a man. I know that I can because I can do all things through you. It would save you and me both a lot of time if I didn't have to take on that kind of task. I know I don't pray nearly enough now. Sorry about that. But if you're looking to go from 0 to 60 in 1 second then send an unGodly man to me as my proposed husband. All jokes aside - please don't do that. I promise to work on praying more. Now God, I know that you said I would receive that for which I asked. Do you think maybe we were being a wee bit too literal when we sent the married men as "husbands"? I know you like to laugh. I do too. Now that we've had our chuckle... can we be serious? I'd appreciate a man who will become my husband and who is not currently someone else's husband. Maybe you can squeeze this one in between world peace, an answer to homelessness/hunger and the cure for AIDS.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

He's Not My Magician... He's My God!

2006-03-17T13:52:00.000-08:00

I've come to believe that quite a few people equate the power of God to the illusive power of David Copperfield. We ask Him for the impossible and we expect a few flashing lights and a puff of smoke to immediately usher in the answers we seek. I can't help but think about the fact that flashing lights, smoke and all the other eye-catching effects are just a magician's way of distracting us from the process. Why would God do that? He wants us to appreciate every move that He makes in our lives. So it is only fitting that we are given the opportunity to see every detailed movement involved in responding to our prayers. God moves slow enough for us to see what He is doing and give Him praise for His goodness in every action.

We've all heard someone mention the timeliness of God. He may not come when you want Him but He's right on time. In the microwave/instant oatmeal age, we tend to want everything right now. Patience, which is still a virtue, is no longer common and few of us pray that it will be so again. I won't say that people don't appreciate the occasional quick fix. That's just not true. I know that I am most often appreciative of the quick answers that God sends my way. I also know that my appreciation comes from experiencing God's deliberate movement in my life at most other times.

I'm so thankful that God doesn't have to rely on magic wands or pre-cooked, dried and rolled oats to answer my prayers. Because you see - He's not my magician... He's my God. And while I enjoy the entertainment provided by magicians as much as the next person, I just don't think David Copperfield could ever do it like my God does!